South Of Heaven by Slayer

I have been fascinated with Slayer for a very long time. When I was in grade 6 or 7 I had asked my older neighbor (who happened to be a metal head) to make me a mix tape of the heaviest, metalist stuff that he had.

Slayer was on the tape. This is obvious right?

I spent a few years, ever night listening to that tape. For a while I had a ghetto blaster above my head that I would turn on as I went to sleep. Then soon I got a walkman and had headphones on every night. It was for a very large part that tape that I listened to. It was a great tape. The funny thing is that the tape had no song list, so I didn’t know I was listening to Megadeth, or Slayer, or Anthrax, or Prong until much later in life. I’m still finding a few of the bands on there. Light bulbs go off.

So, the album for today I have chosen to review is Slayer’s South of Heaven.

The title track is a staple to any metal fans diet. If you do not know this song, then you are not a metal fan. Seriously. It’s that staple.

The fury that rocks through your veins when you listen to this album is real. Fast drum beats from Dave Lombardo, the fascinatingly hard and fast riffs from Kerry King and Jeff Hanneman, and Tom Araya belting out lyrics blows the lid off of many pots (and mothers) regularly.I laugh at this old photo.

I love the track Mandatory Suicide. Not particularity for the name, but everything together makes sense.

On angry days, I like to scare innocent people with Slayer. You know they’re wanting to stare and wonder and gawk, but you know they’re to afraid to do it. This is what goes through my mind.

I think the thing I like about this album is that every single song makes me think about dancing around in a circle throwing a few elbows.  Have you ever been there? I’ve had the chance to see Slayer rock a few times; yes, its epic. Kerry King’s goatee is getting pretty intense. I read an article on him where he explained the reason for braiding it now is because it would get stuck in his guitar. Badass.

Cleanse The Soul? Seriously? Is this possible to be such a crazy insane bits of solo mixed with the clearly searching lyrics of preparation of Tom? Badass, I’m not joking!

Whose with me on this? Which one of y’all have days where you need to be angry? It pushes me further. Does it help you? Get South of Heaven.

After the Fast: In Retrospect

So I have finished my fast 10 days ago almost to the hour, and I am not taking some time to reflect on the after math of the fast: what I have learned as well as what I have felt. You can read more about it here.

The fast was easy. It isn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever had to overcome, but in the same breath, I’m trying to think of what the hardest thing I’ve ever done was…. So I guess it was hard, but it was something I could do, so the ten days wasn’t hard then was it? It was challenging I will admit. The part that I found most challenging was finding the strength to continue my daily routines as I was required to be: active and alert. Every movement, by the end of it, was accompanied with a feeling of emptyness of energy and if I got up, it was dizzyness. I had to be careful to not move to fast, or exert to much energy.

What I am still unsure about, and have noticed I have felt from the previous fasts I have done as well, is that I allow myself to look at photos and blogs of food and dreaming about it. Sometimes I feel that looking at them will only strengthen my character by denying myself those nutrients, but also isn’t the the point of doing a fast to mentally block food from my thoughts? This is something I will try and focus on this more in the future fasts (which yes, does mean that I’ll be fasting again, probably not soon though).

My body has recovered fully. My first bite was of an apple. I could immediately feel the strength pouring through my body from the nutrients, or more specifically the sugars! I had initially planned on being without anything solid, or at least no meat, for 48hrs, but after 30hrs, I went out for Thai food (which incidentally was absolutely delicious), thus breaking my dietary plans. I guess I had broken it with the apple not being blended anyways.  I have also had a meal of sushi, so I’m semi quasi accomplishing my diet plans, although I wish I wouldn’t have eaten the delicious meals directly afterward. I think it was hard on my body, a little bit anyways.

As far as my mind goes, I have searched for a lot of answers, but in the end, I know that the answers will come; this is something that fasting has taught me. In time, all things will come; even the most feared or the most anticipated events you can think of. Having to sit there and focus my mind on tasks that weren’t eating food was very easy once I really whole-heartedly put my self into the mind space, but very distracting when I did not. I found that when I did meditate, it was much more focused, and I was able to find calmness and clarity much easier than any other time I meditate. It feels almost like seeking answers from within (which I have been trying for a long time ever since reading Siddhartha), in a more effective effort. I sit here now and realize I haven’t tried to meditate since, which dismays me also.

As I am now, I am satisfied, but dissapointed with myself for not following through with my dietary goals. It was very hard to not control my eating after the fast, for I craved everything. Still now I crave delicious foods, which maybe has made me more of a snob and appreciating the finer foods (or at least good quality foods) that take time to prepare?

I have found a new level of peace though, a new understanding of life and love, and what is dear to me.. in a way. What are things that are fictitious in my mind, and what are things that are important to me? If I haven’t specifically learn’t all of these things directly as a result of the fast, they have at least been illuminated because of it, which I am eternally thankful for the opportunity to learn such things.

Often I think about what is in my mind necessary to live my life the best I can, and I really believe that it’s more to do with living, understanding, and knowing than second guessing and hesitating. Almost one may think of it as a peaceful dance with the leaves of time.

Day 10 of 10 Day Fast: Completed

So the fast is done. If you have been following me through this, you would already have read my previous days: 9, 8, 5, and 2.

It has been a very interesting journey, one that I have learnt a lot about what people believe, what I believe, what I am capable of, and also what it feels like to go without food for so long. I have proved the myth wrong that a person cannot go without food for such a long time, well maybe it’s not so much of a myth as something that scares most people.

One thing that’s amazed me is that my fridge still has some food in it that hasn’t gone bad! I’ve been writing food blogs like crazy at Exercise and Mind, that have been making me get much more excited about breaking this fast, but now that I am here at this point of break, I eat a little bit, and my stomach cannot handle any more! There are so many things that I want to start eating, but I suspect it’s going to take a few days before my stomach is back to proper working order.

I broke my fast at the hour I started it, 1230hrs, with 1 apple that had made it with me through the whole fast. Yes, it tasted like a million dollars and I ate the whole thing, seeds and all. I am aware the apple seeds aren’t the easiest things to digest, maybe I’ll start an apple tree in my stomach… I had another apple at 1330hrs. Shortly after the first one, I was feeling much livelier, with much more energy. It’s an amazing thing what food does to our bodies, a little bit of nutrition goes a long way.

For my first main meal, I had some homemade carrot and yam soup! Now, I’m not sure if it was because I hadn’t eaten for 10 days, but it was absolutely delicious! I have to be careful about how much I eat though, for if I get too carried away or have too much rich foods, my stomach really isn’t going to like me too much.

This morning I took the time to meditate and do a full stretch. It felt really good, and I always get discouraged when I realize that the fast is over and I haven’t dedicated enough time during it to meditate. I guess this is because I am so focused on what I’m actually doing to take the time. After meditating though, it feels extremely good, I feel lighter, brighter, and a lot more alert and at peace with life; this is a good thing. I appreciate what I have a lot more I feel, and I also feel more in tuned with my surroundings. I like this a lot.

Will I do it again? Absolutely. Will I do it for 10 days? Thats questionable. Will I do it soon? That is doubtful.

It was a great experience, but the fact is, it takes a lot out of me, pretty much takes all my conditioning and training and flushes it out the door. It keeps me fairly un-mobile for the whole time, every bit of energy I do spend weakens me greatly. It was not a health fast, or a cleanse, it was a fast: Spiritual and mind, which is part of the reason why I get upset with myself for not taking more care to meditate; this is ok, and I am pleased with myself none-the-less. I have learnt a great deal about myself, my habits, what I can believe, and also what is important to me as a result of this fast, which yes, I did have a lot of knowledge of these things before the fast, but at some point there was a clearing up of the mess.

You know when you’re absolutely spent, like you’ve just had a day on the ski slopes, and all you want to do is sit back in the hot tub and suck back a beverage, enjoy it and let your muscles get relaxed, and this is all you can think about? Well, that’s sort of what happens. You loose sight of minor complications, overlook trifles, and realize that all of these sort of insignificant disturbances are nothing to get excited about and are all just things that will happen anyways, so just be happy and all things will work themselves out with care and attention.

So, in conclusion, it was a great success, I received some great support from people all around the world here, and on twitter @kingkabuz, and I am a very happy boy.

Thank you all for your encouragement and wise words, and I am back to normal again!

Day 9 of 10 Day Fast

Well, today is my last sleep before I finish this fast. It has been a very interesting journey, and it feels like it’s been quite a long time actually. I find myself at various points of the day thinking to myself: “wow, I think I could go forever without eating.” But then I realize that this is silly, and that I’m weak and light headed, not to mention hungry!

I’ve been doing a whole lot of posting of foods such as my Red Chicken on my website, in anticipation of the coming food I shall be intaking, but it’s not to nice for me thinking about all the delicious food, and then not eating anything… I consider it a better test of my will….. smart?

One thing I’m pretty happy about is that some of the fruits and veges that I’ve had since I begun are still alive and not decayed. I guess this is a sign of very little toxins that are used as pesticides, as well as to ripen the crop fast to get it to market. I actually had two bunches of bananas, one was organic and the other was regular. I bought two because the regular bunches were green, and the organic ones were just perfect (if not a bit mature). Right now, 10 days later, the organic ones are actually slightly less brown spotted as the regular ones. Amazing, I know.

I was at the grocer a while ago, talking to the grocer, and he was telling me how a banana is so covered with pesticides that a person should wash their hands immediately after touching them. I found this rather disturbing but it really does describe the difference in organic to regular bananas.

So back to the fast.

These last few days I have been getting extremely cold. I am worried about some sort of hypothermia setting in, but I somewhat doubt this will happen. But as I type this, my place is set to 22.5deg C, and I’m wearing a t-shirt, wool sweater, and a hoody; not to mention pants and giant wool socks. Its slightly weird to me, but it’s also fairly cold out, so I’ll accept this. I just hope it doesn’t turn into a cold. I feel my body is at a very healthy state right now, and it would be hard to get a cold, but this could be the inverse of what is actually truth for all I know.

I have also been finding that my sleeping pattern is extremely off. I get tired at about 10 or so, and sleep for 2 hours, then wake up and can’t get back to sleep until about 3 or 4 in the morning. This is ok, for I read for a few hours, but it’s still a bit interesting to me. I remember reading Gandhi’s autobiography Experiments With Truth where he described his sleeping patterns, and it was very similar. It makes me worry less when I remember this!

It has definitely been a bit of a struggle for me to focus on school these past 9 days, but I blame that more on the usual getting back into the swing of things rather than the fast. For me it’s always hard coming back from a break to hit the grind stone and study hard. Do any of you find this too?

Looking in the mirror, I am definitely going inward in the belly area, and not outward, not that I was before, but it’s pronounced. I can feel my hip bones, and my muscles do feel weak if I try and flex.

One odd thing is on day 7 and today, I pooped. Odd thing to mention, but it’s very interesting I could actually do this considering I haven’t eaten anything in 9 days. I was talking to a friend, and he blamed this on the tea that I’m drinking. I’m still only drinking Goji Berry tea, Peppermint tea, and water. Can any of you attest to this phenomenon?

This is about all I can report for symptoms.

Art by Poncho

For mentality, all I can say I’ve gained are:

a) a patience for life, temporary if it may be.

b) a mind for my body. I am aware of most of my movements, and thinking about a lot more of what I do with it.

c) my mind may not have become more clear, and it may not have become more stable, but I would say that I have learned or enabled myself to focus on what I really need to focus on and that I’m starting to push myself in the proper directions without hesitation. I’m not sure if this is due to the reading material, or the timing of the year, or both combined with the fast, but I can feel it within me.

So you see, I have learnt a few things along the way. The most important thing I have learnt is that I am in charge of this life, and that I can do anything. Most people I have told about this say “Why?” or “Thats really not healthy!” or “You’re crazy!” but in the end, they don’t know why I do the things I do, what I deal with daily, and the commitment required for me to follow through on such a thing. I have also had some great friends that have encouraged me, given me great advice on what to do, how to break the fast, to rest, to stay warm, which really warms my heart just thinking about the support I have learned that I do have in the world around me. This is a beautiful thing in itself.

Read my final conclusions on day 10 here!

Day 8 of 10 Day Fast

Today is day 8 of my 10 day fast, and it feels the same as the others have felt. As I have felt with previous fasts, the worst thing is not the agonizing pain of being hungry (which doesn’t exist) but the overwhelming desire and uncontrolled dreaming of food stuffs. Lately my dreaming has lead me to all sorts of cookies.

The wost thing is that I have some left over cookies that my mother sent home with me after the holidays sitting in my freezer (to keep them properly) for when I’m done the fast.

Something that the fast has made me dream about is to start doing more baking. I decided at midnight last night that I want to try and find a cook book, or at least some recipes that will teach me how to make soups and sauces. But, more along the lines of cookies, I want to start learning how to bake. So, in the wee hours of the evening last night I found myself dreaming about how I needed some muffin tins, as well as some loaf tins and a mix master to start this process.

Back to the fast.

I am finding that it is no problem to do the days these days, except the plain fact that I dream about food. There are times when I’m really hungry, and wish I could eat things, but that’s more because of the mere thought of food, rather than a pain for food.

As far as physical symptoms and properties go, I find that, of course, I have much less energy. On my walk to school, there is a slight uphill section, and at the end of it I am noticeably out of breath. This is rather natural, since for starters I’m not doing any exercise to keep myself in shape, as well, I have no food in me to give me any sort of reserves of energy needed to allow myself to get through this activity.

I have also noticed that at times it feels like a lot of work to get a full breath of air inside of me. My rib cages feel heavy, but it does feel good when I make the effort to breath full.

As well, I notice that while sitting all day at class, if my back is slightly slouched, or not being held in proper posture, it begins to hurt. 2 more days.

Overall though, the main reason why I’m doing this fast was a mental clarity. This I am finding somewhat. I am finding a calm serenity in my mind, which I believe will hold fast when I am finished. Being able to know that nothing else matters is a very great thing, but also knowing and studying how I react is a very beneficial test. The most strange thing is that I find I am able to not be stressed at all. During this whole process, I have been in very interesting situations that should have caused me much more stress, but as it turns out, I have been calm and relaxed and accepting of what it is that fate deems necessary. Now, this may or may not be due to the fact that I am also reading a book called: “How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, which is an extremely great read and I recommend to all of you readers.

So, I am happy, I feel healthy (in spite my weakness), my sleep patterns are weird and off, but during the day I feel alert. Although, I do get tired earlier so I do go to be early which then gives rise to me getting up at midnight to do some work and going back to bed after a few hours. This reminds me of Gandhi, and how he used to have the most intense sleeping patterns, where he would sleep in a similar fashion, except he had a few cat naps in there as well.

I am finding that the Honey Tea is an essential factor to this fast. It works as a slightly better hunger depressor than water and tea, but still isn’t food. I’m only using about half of a teaspoon of sugar in my tea, and it allows me to keep my blood sugar up and eliminate the woozy, dizzy, sick feelings that sometimes overcame me.

2 more days and I think I can make it. So tempting to just start eating some foods, but I will prevail the victor of this challenge I am certain. Any words of encouragement?

Photography: Randy Mayor; Styling: Melanie J. Clarke

Read more about day 9 here!

Day 5 of 10 Day Fast

So today is day 5, the hump day if you will, of my 10 day fast, and today I’m feeling rather weak. I think its because the busy weekend I’ve had, but clearly its also from the lack of food I’ve not ingested.

courtesy of

The weirdest thing about a fast is the things you start to fantasize about. For instance, today I was smelling bread in my car as I drove around town doing my things, and started dreaming about the black olive fresh artisan loaf from the bakery just up the road. I usually can consume the entire thing without any hesitation. Yuhm. I’m also craving banana bread, it doesn’t help when my two friends BC Berrie and Erin Ireland keep flaunting their marvelous talents in the kitchen in my face. Oh so cruel!

Photo Courtesy of

But all that aside, all the joking about really craving food, it’s more just the thought of those delicious things that is what gets me. It’s not necessarily a hunger craving that is really gnawing at my belly, it’s the knowing how delicious those things really are. I have a fridge thats full of food, most of it is vegetables that I’m pretty certain are going to go bad on me, which makes me sad 🙁 . I have friends that are starving because they don’t have enough budget to pay for food. Somethings gotta give.

As far as my mental state of mind goes, its fairly intact today. Yesterday I had a little bit of a breakdown, wondering what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and if I’m even doing it about the wrong things. You know sometimes when you get the feeling like your actions are pushing really great people in your life away from you, but it’s just you being you? We’ll that feeling overwhelms me sometimes, which I think is why I have crafted my character to be somewhat more…. eloquent if I may. If things get too sloppy, people start to really turn their head in disgust; I would rather be open to all corners of the world than to immediately have doors shut down in front of me, its just something I’ve come to accept and understand.

My focus is really becoming hard, but the fast is also, in that same regard, illuminating the things in my life that I should focus myself on. A lot of the trifles in life seem to wash away when there is no desire for them. It’s almost like a washing of the drama away, you know? It’s like at the end of a day on the hill, you’ve spent all day carving and turning, looking for jumps and giving it your all, and then you are sitting at the table, taking off your ski gear and totally exhausted and you only have certain things on your mind. Most all else has gone away, no more bullshit if you will. I like that feeling. But at the same time, it’s hard not to feel like all that will eventually bite you in the arse. In a way, I guess, it’s kind of like loosing that eloquent’ness for a brief spell. hmm. Now I have more to think about!

Please, send me words of encouragement! Yesterday I almost broke my fast! Today was hard too! I went by a few pubs that looked deliciously my style

Read more on day 8 here!

Day 2 of 10 Day Fast

As the title clearly states, today is the completion of day two of my ten day fast. I woke up this morning feeling alright, took a shower, shaved and brushed my teeth, and now as I sit here I’m feeling slightly nauseous. I’m a little disturbed at this, for I really don’t like this feeling and know its my body telling me something, but I’m highly suspect its the fact that I haven’t drunk any liquids since last night when I went to bed. It could also be the 6hrs I got for sleep that also combine with this.

Yesterday I had some exercise. I walked up to the store, and I also did some light yoga as well as meditation that made me feel really and surprisingly positive about life. I enjoy those feelings.

I find that I am really focusing on my movements, and taking care with everything. Doors are getting shut lighter, steps are more ginger, and my peace of mind moves at a more crisp pace. I like this as well. I hope I can keep these traits for some time.

One thing that worries me is the tea I was drinking yesterday was Goji Berry tea. I’m wondering if this is the cause for my wooziness this morning, but I highly suspect its because of lack of hydration rather then wrong hydration. I’m on the water thats for sure!

Till next time, may peace be with you.

Read more on day 5 here.

2010 Audi A5 Coupe

So, my newest rave is an Audi A5 Coupe. I’ve decided this is a reasonable car to dream about. Currently I drive a VW Jetta, which of course we all know VW owns Audi. But, thats besides the point.

This beast has 354 Hp at 7000rpm, and 325lb-ft of torque at 3500rpm. Nothing else matters. Seriously, 250km/hr? Approx 12.1 L/100km.. Quattro All Wheel drive, with a 6 speed manual transmission. Ok, this car is simple off the hook. German engineering simply will not fail.

The exterior on this car simply looks beautiful with the factory spec 19″ wheels, and the interior looks just as amazing. Navigation system, state of the art sound system. Just looking at the inside of one of these beasts reeks of world class engineering not matched by any other cars in the world.

I’m just waiting for Audi to offer me a test drive in one of these to get the real grease of these beasts!

Fast Completed – Mission Accomplished

So, My fast has now been accomplished. It was a great journey, and I really felt good about doing it. Although, the last 2hrs was probably the hardest. I ended up starting to cook my dinner at 630 (end of fast was at 7), thinking that I’d be done making dinner by 700, but it turned out I finished making it by 645, SO, I had a very insistent roomate who persuaded me to not eat until 700 exactly, by his clock. That part helped me wait until then.

I started eating slow, and continued that way the whole meal. Taking breaks. I didn’t want to eat anything to fast as to hurt my stomach. The whole time eating I could hear it sweetly calling my name in happy lamenting.

My stomach grows hungry again as we speak. This might clear the fridge out this hunger…

So I’ve learnt, as I’ve stated before, that I will not die from starving, and that I can survive. I now know what its like to starve, and I’ve gained this valuable knowledge about my body.

I’m not really sure what else I’ve learnt. I didn’t do soul searching, or meditating, it wasn’t about that this time for me. It was more, I guess, about cleansing my body from badness, and to gain a new understanding of how it works. No, it was not about getting skinny, I’m very fit and lead a very healthy life. Yes, I follow very rigorously.

Anyways, I’ve survived, and will live to tell my friends, family, children, and grandchildren about it.  Yai!

Does anybody out there have any other thoughts on fasting they would like to share with me? I’d love to hear!

Hr. 60 of 72hr Fast

This morning I’m not feeling like doing a whole lot. I’m really starting to feel my body getting weak. It’s almost like a drunk feeling, maybe its some kind of diabetes yelling at me? Who knows, wish I knew more.

Getting up to quickly makes my head go a little bit light headed (more than usual!), which probably isn’t the best thing in the world either. I’ve been talking with people about my fast lately, and a lot of them are saying that I’m just being stupid, and whats the point of it, which is a very hard question to answer. How can you explain instinct and primal urges? Can you explain how you get the urge to have sex? Is “she’s just really hot” a good enough reason? hmm.

Suppose I should get some homework done today. Its really hard for me to focus these days. I feel like I should be doing something spiritual to go along with this, but it just seems daunting to focus on not focusing if you can get my drift.

Today is a horrible gray day, suppose I should be thankful that the outdoors aren’t calling my name, for I don’t really feel like going outside today. I’m kinda in a slump lately, which probably isn’t the best thing either for my state of mind for doing this fast. Oh well, I’m a strong fellow, I can put my mind over any matter, and I WILL BE HAPPY ABOUT LIFE.

Any suggestions on something I should try while in the late hours of my fast?

Yesterday I noticed that I started to smell a little bit. More than I normally do 😛 . I guess this is any of the toxins that are choosing to come out of my body. I imagine that today might be about the same. I’m curious how its going to be with regards to that. TBD.